In the previous articles we talked about how ethics and morals are an integral part in all forms of religions as they seek to instill an ideal persona within human beings. As humans over the years we have been evolving mentally and rationally such that we are constantly drifting away from barbarism; and propelling towards the finest forms of civilization. This quest has seen humans advocating for courtesy and respect of one another and concurrently denigrating the abuse of another. Cruel and inhuman treatment of one another is abuse. Every one of us has this trait within us by nature; we are potential abusers of our fellow neighbors or loved ones. We tend to be selfish due to the fact that survival on this planet requires us to think of ourselves first and its normal; but this should be controlled therefore the aspect of self-control comes into play as a virtue we all should foster in order to suppress every rude expression intended to potentially offend or hurt others or infringe on their rights. A right is a freedom that is protected and respected. When lines are crossed, abuse kicks in.
Abuse is the neglect or mistreatment of others (such as a child or spouse, the elderly, the disabled, or
anyone else) in such a way that causes physical, emotional, or sexual harm. Most of the negative
behaviors of society or its dysfunctions have the most vertical extent effect on children. Children suffer
the worst from our weaknesses and ills since they are the most vulnerable and the weakest. Abuse is
one of the ills that has destroyed the future of many children. They fell victim to creatures which we
thought were civil human beings. Many parents who have conceived children out of wedlock for
example – never really get to take care of the child properly. Fights and the blame game gets most of
their energy than focusing on providing a life and a future for their child. Neglecting your child is a form
of abuse. The neglecting of a child’s fundamental needs, definitely harm the development of the child
and his or her physical, mental and emotional health. Other parents do not abuse by neglecting but by
over-investing themselves onto their children. They do not give them space to express their creativity
and to be themselves. If we look at this kind of child abuse, parents inflict it only because the child is
young or under their financial care and cannot choose what they want from what is before them. Many
parents tend to think what is good for them is what the child should always enjoy in the name of “tisu
vakuru, tinoziva, uye takabva neko”. Parents forget that the success of parenting comes when our
children become more successful than we are. That can only be achieved when they don’t think like us:
if they think like us then they can only become what we are. Therefore, the manipulation of children
either by enforcing what we believe is the right career for them against what they think are their
strengths should be done away with. We should school them and trust they are capable of making good
choices for themselves. What we can only do as parents is to guide them as they navigate the ocean of
options that life and education has offered them.
Husbands also abuse their wives. This is common. These are usually men who have failed to deal with
the real challenges of the jungle who then turns to spend their aggression towards their spouse. They
become monsters throwing anger bouts and tantrums to their loved ones, especially their wife and
children and being manipulative in all kinds of ways. Verbal abuse and manipulation are forms of
witchcraft. Their impact and effect on the emotional balance of the victims is like juju. Most of the
married women who are depressed have suffered abuse from their husband in one way or another. But
to think of husband abuse or the abuse of a husband by the wife; society is not ready to accept these
facts. Most times men are screamed at, scolded and even assaulted by their wives but the make-up of
man by nature does not allow him to advertise his pain. When a man is a victim of his wife’s physical
abuse he is both shamed by the assaults of his wife and shamed by society or the church for not training
her into a better wife. Husbands tend to stomach the pain of being abused and move on with life. Those
men that dare tell the story of how they are being victims of spousal abuse usually suffer criticism. The
tides always turn against them. Society declares them liars; rather monsters who are trying to come
clean from the guilt of abusing their wives. Our people do not believe yet that men too are victims of
abuse within marital relationships.
The perpetrator of abuse might never know the scars they leave behind, therefore society and the
judiciary many times struggle to classify abuse that is not physical thereby those that are guilty continue
to roam the streets looking for their next victim. Abuse should land some people in jail and they should
never come back. Society cannot function when there are elements which do not consider the wellness
of others. Statistics of suicide victims shows that many of those people have been victims of one or
another form of abuse. Abuse crimes which are not sexual and physical many time escape the law let
alone being noticed.
Titles have also been used to chocolate-coat abuse. Many pastors who are called by various titles tend
to exalt their selfishness above the needs of their followers. We once mentioned how women can be
abused by men of God in church in the name of religion practice and it slips the wrath of the law
because even the victim is afraid to offend the man of God because the title ‘’ man of God’’. Politicians
too have abused the people and infringed many rights because they have connections that make them
untouchable by law enforcement. Abuse of one another’s rights is almost everywhere and we see these
things happening every day. Many leaders tend to see their subjects as pawns in a chess match. They
use people and dump them, they manipulate the law using their esteemed offices to do so. The impact
of abuse of office by any political figure becomes the worst of all abuses because it usually affects not
individuals only but groups and masses of people. Therefore, corruption becomes one of the worst evil
and form of abuse.
Abuse of one another’s rights is evil. You may never know the torment and torture inflicted within a
child who is sexually abused. The life of a neglected child is like that of one who has a candle and failing
to set it alight yet they are in the middle of thick darkness. The suffering of a verbally abused wife is
often unimaginable and its pain is often greater than birth pangs. The inferiority complex that an abused
husband suffers is often interpreted as his own inadequacy to face life as a man-his suffering no one else
can tell. The life of a manipulated individual is like that of a slave whose master lost the keys to his
chains-there is mental and psychological limitation which is hard to deal with than physical forms of
abuse-many begin to contemplate suicide. We all need to have our rights respected. Freedom is
necessary for mental health and progress of the human species. Never infringe your fellow neighbor’s
rights; including your children and loved ones. There is a suffering that always accompanies abuse and
may you not be an agent of abuse towards the other person.
Before you abuse anyone think twice tomorrow it could be you
